Friday, November 4, 2011

The "Having A Dog" Diet*

There are plenty of dieting options out there, some quite bizarre and dangerous ("The Tapeworm Diet," anyone?).

I've got a new one (at least I think it's new)...

The "Having A Dog Diet." (copyright pending)

Here's how it works - Get a dog and.... that's it! Easy, no?

Here's why it works...

Before I had a dog (or dogs), on evenings that I was home, I would pretty much eat all night. Seriously, I have trouble sitting still for 15 minutes without checking the kitchen for "What else do I have?"

Then, I got Stewie, and subsequently, Kilo (tangent - Holy crap, I cant believe how skinny Kilo was when we got him...making me rethink this blog post!) and River.

Of course every time I went to the kitchen to get something, they'd follow me in to get their fair share of the booty (I know, I'm a sucker). The good thing is that by sharing whatever I got, I was only eating 50 to 75% of the snack! Helloooo weight loss!!!

Not only that, but given that dogs can't eat chocolate, I am less likely to bring chocolate into the house as I hate seeing their sad faces when  can't oblige them (see sucker comment above).

So, there ya have it!

Get a dog and lose weight!*

Harris Bloom

* Only works if you're a sucker

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Notes From The Underground

As anyone who knows me knows, the ACC is a freaking nightmare.

This is no secret to anyone even remotely involved (even if various public officials and heads of "important" animal-related non-profits suggest otherwise).

What we don't know is what goes on inside, and that's because any staff member or volunteer will be fired if they speak out against the ACC (in fact, rescues wont go on record either as they will be kicked out of the Mayor's Alliance, thereby losing funding, if they speak out).

So, how can we find out what the volunteers think?

We can go HERE - A link to the Shelter Reform Action Committee's Notes From the Underground, which will publish any stories they get from staff/volunteers, with the promise of anonymity.

The first one is already up here.

It will no doubt be an infuriating, but important series.

Harris Bloom

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Mayor Mike Bloomberg is a Piece of Shit

I really don't want to write these things.

I swear, I have so much effin' things to do - day gig, a wife, ten month old baby at home, two dogs, animal rescue, comedy "career" - I really don't have the time.

But I'm compelled to...

Cause our Mayor, Bloomberg, is a sack of shit.

He's always been arrogant and dismissive, that's his MO when dealing with any criticism. Usually, I don't make a big deal about it, because I figure, eh, what's the use.

But now I figure if I can change one person's point of view about him, I have to do it (okay, I have to change more than least like seven...yeah, seven).

As many of you know, a carriage horse died in the street several days ago in NYC. Bloomberg, as usual, not only didn't seem the least bit sorry about it, he didn't offer the usual platitudes of any investigation forthcoming, no, he seemed, well, arrogant and dismissive. Here are his money (irony intended) quotes from the article....

Days after a carriage horse collapsed and died in Midtown, Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on Wednesday dismissed calls for a ban on the carriage industry, saying he could not imagine why “anybody wants to destroy something that is part of New York’s heritage and that tourists love.”

“I have no idea what goes through their minds,” the mayor said of opponents of horse-drawn carriages.

“The horses here are supervised by the health department, the A.S.P.C.A.,” he said. “They’re well taken care of. And most of them wouldn’t be alive if they didn’t have a job.”

First of all, he's mentioned the tourist aspect several times - There isn't a tourist in the freaking world who comes here simply to ride the horse drawn carriages...sure, maybe some have it on their "to do" list while here, but not a single one isn't going to come to NY because they can't ride a horse.

Secondly, he has no idea what's on the minds of opponents? If that statement is true, then he's even more of an asshole than I thought. I mean, I can understand how he can object to us thinking the way we do, but to be so devoid of empathy is quite frankly scary.

The next sentence I pasted here is worthy of a reprint (even though I just pasted it a few lines up)...

"The horses here are supervised by the health department, the A.S.P.C.A.,” he said. “They’re well taken care of. And most of them wouldn’t be alive if they didn’t have a job.”

Why is that sentence worthy of a reprint? This came out yesterday.

They are "well taken care of?" Oh, really?

Apparently, this horse, Charlie as he was named, was just checked out by Dept of Health vets (I assume they have vets) in June. Meanwhile, as per the ASPCA's necropsy report, indications are that "Charlie was not a healthy horse and was likely suffering from pain due to pronounced chronic ulceration of the stomach and a fractured tooth."

When Bloomberg was asked about Charlie's death again, he responded, "Like everyone, eventually they die...some die on the streets."

I hope someone eulogizes him the same way.

RIP Charlie

Harris Bloom