The Royal Dog Boy???

This is obviously a sad story, as it appears that a few of the Queens' dogs attacked one of Princess Beatrix's dogs.

Having said that, there are a few funny takeaways from the article linked to...

1 - An insider described the person walking the dogs as "The Queen's dog boy."

First of all, the "dog boy" is a person, right?  England doesn't have half-human, half-dog things runnin' around, I presume.

Also, is that how the Queen refers to him (it?)... Dog Boy? Why am I picturing the Queen ringing a bell, while summoning him with, "Oh dog boy, come hither!"

2 - The title of the story puts quotes around the word "attack."

Why?

Is the editor telling us something here without saying it? Does he (or she) not believe that those bite marks were made by the dogs in question?

3 - To confirm my suspicions, the sub-heading uses the word "allegedly" while referring to the corgis "attack."

Allegedly?

Are they saying allegedly as it hasn't been proven in a court of law that it was, in fact, the Corgis? I can't wait for that trial.

Maybe they can't believe it wasn't a pit bull, given England's feelings about pitties.

Or, is The Telegraph telling us they don't think it was the Queen's Corgis? Do they know something here? Maybe they did their own investigation, and though they don't have they think it was something else, or maybe someone else. Or maybe both... that's right...

Dog Boy!

Harris Bloom
Founder/President
Stewie to the Rescue

Dog Tip #172

Never allow your dog to sit on your lap after giving her yogurt.**

** Especially if you are wearing your suit pants for work.

Harris

A Dog Named L.L. Bean

Ok, so I am gonna really try to blog every day or two - I know, I may've said this before but this time I mean it!

So...

I love this story about a shelter dog, that they named L.L Bean, which was subsequently adopted by an employee of, yup, L.L. Bean! Not only that, but employees of L.L. Bean chipped in to pay the $800 of transportation expenses to get the pup to it's new owner!

One of the smaller criticisms of the ACC shelter here in NY is how lazy they are in naming the animals. At the very least, they can use corporate names that are well-liked and that people feel a connection to. Here are some good ones...

Apple
Lexus
Dr. Pepper
Hershey
Cheesecake Factory (what!?!)

Harris Bloom
President/Founder
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

The "Having A Dog" Diet*

There are plenty of dieting options out there, some quite bizarre and dangerous ("The Tapeworm Diet," anyone?).

I've got a new one (at least I think it's new)...

The "Having A Dog Diet." (copyright pending)

Here's how it works - Get a dog and.... that's it! Easy, no?

Here's why it works...

Before I had a dog (or dogs), on evenings that I was home, I would pretty much eat all night. Seriously, I have trouble sitting still for 15 minutes without checking the kitchen for "What else do I have?"

Then, I got Stewie, and subsequently, Kilo (tangent - Holy crap, I cant believe how skinny Kilo was when we got him...making me rethink this blog post!) and River.

Of course every time I went to the kitchen to get something, they'd follow me in to get their fair share of the booty (I know, I'm a sucker). The good thing is that by sharing whatever I got, I was only eating 50 to 75% of the snack! Helloooo weight loss!!!

Not only that, but given that dogs can't eat chocolate, I am less likely to bring chocolate into the house as I hate seeing their sad faces when  can't oblige them (see sucker comment above).

So, there ya have it!

Get a dog and lose weight!*

Harris Bloom
Founder/President
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/


* Only works if you're a sucker

Yeah, Right!

Kilo has really bad breath sometimes. I asked my vet about ti and he suggested some breath mint for dogs.

I responded, "Yeah, I can't get him to sit for two seconds, I'm gonna get him to suck on a mint?"

Harris Bloom
Founder/President
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

The One Second Rule

Just like a lot of homes, we live by the five-second rule when food drops to the floor.

Unlike others, our five second rule means that if we don't pick it up within five seconds, one of the dogs will.

Who am I kiddin', it's more like a one second rule.

Harris Bloom
Founder/President
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

Oh, Kilo

Yesterday (and today), I spent my day at work thinking about our dog, Kilo... not cause I missed him, but because thanks to give going after another dog on our morning walk, my right hand is swollen and in pain (not broken).

Thanks Kilo!

Harris Bloom
Founder/President
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

Top Ten Pit Bull Myths Debunked!

There is so much misinformation about Pit bulls out there, I have decided to set the record straight...


1 - Pit Bulls' favorite drink is is the Strawberry Margarita.

WRONG!

It's Tanqueray and Tonic!

2 - Pit Bulls are good at math.

WRONG!

It's art history that they excel in (especially Staffies)!

3 - Most Pit Bulls are Republicans.

WRONG!

63% are registered Democrats!

4 - Pit Bulls can eat twice their weight in butterscotch pudding.

WRONG!

It's Lime Jello!

5 - A Pit Bull was the first dog on the moon.

WRONG!

Sally, an American Pit Bull Terrier was the THIRD dog on the moon (FYI- Alonzo, a chocolate Lab, and Peanut, a hairless chihuahua preceded her).

6 - Pit Bulls are notoriously poor at golf.

WRONG!

While most have natural slices, that can easily be corrected with proper training.

(btw - They are also excellent bowlers and squash players - not great skiers, though)

7 - A Pit Bull invented those hand held fans that also spray water.

WRONG!

But a Pit Bull did invent the tricycle.

8 - Most Pit Bulls' favorite TV show is Pit Boss or Pit Bulls and Parolees.

WRONG!

It's Dancing with the Stars!

9 - Pit Bulls' favorite music is country, especially Johnny Cash and Trisha Yearwood.

WRONG!

Pit Bulls' adore hair metal, especially Motley Crue and Queensryche.

10 - Pit Bulls can not be taught to use a knife and fork.

WRO

...oh wait, that's right. I mean, come on!

Rock On,

Harris

http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

Jealous of My Dog

Kilo, my pittie, is a scavenger. I always have to keep a keen out when walking him as he'll eat ANYTHING on the ground.

This morning, for example, he ate one of those Entenmann's powdered cinnamon donuts that someone had dropped. I was pretty angry when he wouldn't drop it.

I LOVE those Entenmann's powdered cinnamon donuts.

Rock On,

Harris Bloom
Founder and President
http://www.stewietotherescue.org/

I Swear, My Wife Isn't Beating Me!

I walk my pittie Kilo every night in Riverside Park. I'm a bit of a pushover during these walks as instead of leading him, I allow him to lead me, as I hope it'll make him do his business faster so we can get home faster.

The problem is, it's pretty dark. Two nights ago, I wasn't quite looking where he was leading me and I walked into a tree. I came home with my scalp bleeding.

As if that wasn't dumb enough, last night, it happened again! Only this time, I was crouching under a low branch. I didn't get down far enough and it scraped against my back, again, leaving me bloodied.

I had a physical today, and had to explain my marks to my doctor. I wonder if he believed me.

"So you're telling me you walked into trees two nights in a row?"

Hmmmm...

Harris